Miracle of Venice

I really just love my life. I love this life. I love miracles and they are constantly bombarding my life. I haven't written for a while because things have been a bit difficult and I didn't want to write for fear of the responses. That's the thing about blogs, everybody can read them :).

So, basically, I've had trouble with Venice. (we've been fighting) I really, really wanted to go. But, the only offers i got were on a Sunday. It wasn't just one Sunday and it wasn't just one offer. Saying no so many times was really hard and Bianca's disappointment was the hardest thing. I just knew that I couldn't go on a Sunday. The guilt would ruin everything. I know that keeping the Sabbath holy is largely to our disgression and i had half a feeling that if I told people they might try to convince me to go. I'm not so certain I wouldn't if i was in Utah. However, i underestimated everyone, the support was really great.

It's not like I gave up on Venice easily. I asked everybody i knew, (and several i really didn't) if they would go with me. Nobody really wants to because it's cold right now and they can go any old time. So, after literally chasing random strangers down i finally found a girl, Monica, that said she would go. So, i was really happy and it was safe to go home because i could tell Bianca i found someone. Then when i talked to her again, she said she only had a few hours, not enough to see Venice so we decided to go to Verona. Juliet and Romeo are not half as cool as Venice but, hey, it's not bad.

But, then we got on the wrong train :) Very funny. I didn't need anybodies help getting lost but, we did and even though it went right through Verona, for some reason that is only known to those fluent in Italian, we ended up in Venice.

It was a very quick and for me, an intensely spiritual experience.

It was just that, I really didn't think i was going to go and I was really torn by it. More than anything it was because Bianca was really upset at my decision to not go on Sunday and that it was getting hard to be around her because of the intense animosity. But, it was amazing because I got to go and it was on the Lord's watch.

I did everything i was supposed to and that took almost constant prayer to be strong about. Then, when i got to Venice, it was so much better than i had imagined. While people told me it was over flowing with tourists, i didn't see that, and people said that everyone would try to rob me, I actually was met with intense kindness. People trying to take pictures for me, and when I tried to buy souveniers the people lowered their prices and even gave me things for free. I didn't have a coat, but i wasn't cold and I was witnessing a miracle.

Once we realized we were going to Venice, Monica and I were both way way excited but, there was a lot of time to think since we have trouble communicating. I kept thinking about all the idle worship and how even going to Venice when i felt like i shouldn't was putting Man above God. I thought about in Moses how Satan comes and tells him, after Moses has just seen so many miracles and been surrounded by God's love, "worship me" and I understand Moses' reaction "Where is thy Glory? that i should worship thee?" Moses is right, i just couldn't help thinking how much i knew that my God was the real God. I knew that he was answering my prayers. That he fulfills his promises. That he performs miracles for me faster than i can take them in. His Glory is real. He is real. My Savior, and My redeemer lives!

And I know that. Why do i know that? There are so many philosophers, and kings, and great people that speculate their whole lives on what I was told when i was a child, and have been gaining a testimony line upon line for my whole life! The truth is here. Right here. And it's incredible, mind boggling that I have it. It's like a golden ticket but, it's for everyone. I want everyone to have it! The intensity of the greatness just overpowers me.

I think we can all be greatful that there are people that can explain the emotions i am having so much more eloquently than I. I echo their words.

I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me

                Confused at the grace that so fully he proffers me

                ……

                And when I think, that God his son not sparing,

                Sent him to die

                I scarce can take it in.

                That on the cross, MY burden gladly bearing,

                He bled and died, to take away my sin.

                Then sings my soul my Savior, God, to Thee

                How great thou art, how great thou art

                ….

                I KNOW that my redeemer lives.

                What comfort this sweet sentence gives!

                HE LIVES AND WHILE HE LIVES I’LL SING

                HE LIVES MY PROPHET PRIEST AND KING

While i was in Venice, i just kept thinking things like "I shall never be unhappy again" "This is better than anything i imagined" and honestly i didn't see that much but, it really was thrilling. More so because I was there despite everything that said it was not going to happen. It was my little miracle. There were so many other miracles this week too.

It was a hard week but, in my D&C class we were reading 121-123 the liberty jail chapters. If you ever feel like life is hard, just go read those. My new favorite verse was the last one. After everything that had happened the final response was

D&C 123:17 "Therefore, dearly beloved brethren, let us ^acheerfully ^bdo all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the ^csalvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed."

We can't do everything but, we can be cheerful and do everything we can and i think often in our dire circumstances we underestimate everything we can do. I had to figure out a way to make peace with Bianca and that was a blessing. It took lots of prayers and scriptures and my conclusions surprised me but, i was learning so much and close to the spirit because I was trying to make everything alright. In a way i was quite grateful for what was happening because I didn't think Venice would really solve the problems anyway. Venice wasn't the problem, I was. I've been learning to take on the responsibility I don't think i deserve this winter. Mostly from this book i've been reading "Change your Questions, Change your Life" Rather than asking "why is she doing this" I tried asking "what am i doing that makes things hard?" "What can i do to make the situation different?" It's empowering to be able to change things and by the end of the very long week, before Venice, there was peace in the home.

I thought when i told Bianca that i actually did go to Venice she would be more excited then anyone since she was more upset than anyone. She was excited but, it wasn't that, that strengthened our relationship again. There have been so many blessings in what has happened. I have found out that i can still go to Verona on Wednesday with a girl that wanted to go toVenice with me on a Sunday. Monica and I have become friends and we are spending more time together and it's a lot more exciting to go to institute when i can go and be with a friend. i learned more Italian, i went on some epic adventures. Learned some great things about myself.

So, mission accomplished.