Miracle of Venice

I really just love my life. I love this life. I love miracles and they are constantly bombarding my life. I haven't written for a while because things have been a bit difficult and I didn't want to write for fear of the responses. That's the thing about blogs, everybody can read them :).

So, basically, I've had trouble with Venice. (we've been fighting) I really, really wanted to go. But, the only offers i got were on a Sunday. It wasn't just one Sunday and it wasn't just one offer. Saying no so many times was really hard and Bianca's disappointment was the hardest thing. I just knew that I couldn't go on a Sunday. The guilt would ruin everything. I know that keeping the Sabbath holy is largely to our disgression and i had half a feeling that if I told people they might try to convince me to go. I'm not so certain I wouldn't if i was in Utah. However, i underestimated everyone, the support was really great.

It's not like I gave up on Venice easily. I asked everybody i knew, (and several i really didn't) if they would go with me. Nobody really wants to because it's cold right now and they can go any old time. So, after literally chasing random strangers down i finally found a girl, Monica, that said she would go. So, i was really happy and it was safe to go home because i could tell Bianca i found someone. Then when i talked to her again, she said she only had a few hours, not enough to see Venice so we decided to go to Verona. Juliet and Romeo are not half as cool as Venice but, hey, it's not bad.

But, then we got on the wrong train :) Very funny. I didn't need anybodies help getting lost but, we did and even though it went right through Verona, for some reason that is only known to those fluent in Italian, we ended up in Venice.

It was a very quick and for me, an intensely spiritual experience.

It was just that, I really didn't think i was going to go and I was really torn by it. More than anything it was because Bianca was really upset at my decision to not go on Sunday and that it was getting hard to be around her because of the intense animosity. But, it was amazing because I got to go and it was on the Lord's watch.

I did everything i was supposed to and that took almost constant prayer to be strong about. Then, when i got to Venice, it was so much better than i had imagined. While people told me it was over flowing with tourists, i didn't see that, and people said that everyone would try to rob me, I actually was met with intense kindness. People trying to take pictures for me, and when I tried to buy souveniers the people lowered their prices and even gave me things for free. I didn't have a coat, but i wasn't cold and I was witnessing a miracle.

Once we realized we were going to Venice, Monica and I were both way way excited but, there was a lot of time to think since we have trouble communicating. I kept thinking about all the idle worship and how even going to Venice when i felt like i shouldn't was putting Man above God. I thought about in Moses how Satan comes and tells him, after Moses has just seen so many miracles and been surrounded by God's love, "worship me" and I understand Moses' reaction "Where is thy Glory? that i should worship thee?" Moses is right, i just couldn't help thinking how much i knew that my God was the real God. I knew that he was answering my prayers. That he fulfills his promises. That he performs miracles for me faster than i can take them in. His Glory is real. He is real. My Savior, and My redeemer lives!

And I know that. Why do i know that? There are so many philosophers, and kings, and great people that speculate their whole lives on what I was told when i was a child, and have been gaining a testimony line upon line for my whole life! The truth is here. Right here. And it's incredible, mind boggling that I have it. It's like a golden ticket but, it's for everyone. I want everyone to have it! The intensity of the greatness just overpowers me.

I think we can all be greatful that there are people that can explain the emotions i am having so much more eloquently than I. I echo their words.

I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me

                Confused at the grace that so fully he proffers me

                ……

                And when I think, that God his son not sparing,

                Sent him to die

                I scarce can take it in.

                That on the cross, MY burden gladly bearing,

                He bled and died, to take away my sin.

                Then sings my soul my Savior, God, to Thee

                How great thou art, how great thou art

                ….

                I KNOW that my redeemer lives.

                What comfort this sweet sentence gives!

                HE LIVES AND WHILE HE LIVES I’LL SING

                HE LIVES MY PROPHET PRIEST AND KING

While i was in Venice, i just kept thinking things like "I shall never be unhappy again" "This is better than anything i imagined" and honestly i didn't see that much but, it really was thrilling. More so because I was there despite everything that said it was not going to happen. It was my little miracle. There were so many other miracles this week too.

It was a hard week but, in my D&C class we were reading 121-123 the liberty jail chapters. If you ever feel like life is hard, just go read those. My new favorite verse was the last one. After everything that had happened the final response was

D&C 123:17 "Therefore, dearly beloved brethren, let us ^acheerfully ^bdo all things that lie in our power; and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the ^csalvation of God, and for his arm to be revealed."

We can't do everything but, we can be cheerful and do everything we can and i think often in our dire circumstances we underestimate everything we can do. I had to figure out a way to make peace with Bianca and that was a blessing. It took lots of prayers and scriptures and my conclusions surprised me but, i was learning so much and close to the spirit because I was trying to make everything alright. In a way i was quite grateful for what was happening because I didn't think Venice would really solve the problems anyway. Venice wasn't the problem, I was. I've been learning to take on the responsibility I don't think i deserve this winter. Mostly from this book i've been reading "Change your Questions, Change your Life" Rather than asking "why is she doing this" I tried asking "what am i doing that makes things hard?" "What can i do to make the situation different?" It's empowering to be able to change things and by the end of the very long week, before Venice, there was peace in the home.

I thought when i told Bianca that i actually did go to Venice she would be more excited then anyone since she was more upset than anyone. She was excited but, it wasn't that, that strengthened our relationship again. There have been so many blessings in what has happened. I have found out that i can still go to Verona on Wednesday with a girl that wanted to go toVenice with me on a Sunday. Monica and I have become friends and we are spending more time together and it's a lot more exciting to go to institute when i can go and be with a friend. i learned more Italian, i went on some epic adventures. Learned some great things about myself.

So, mission accomplished.

churches and temples

Written February 24th

Okay so today was basically awesome. Check out facebook for pictures ;) I was going to put them on here but it takes so long to load them. I spent the entire day exploring Palermo. I put a ton of pictures up but, my camera died halfway through the day so, then i started using the Fici's and i still haven't gotten those pictures off.

I \saw the most beautiful Cathedral. it was huge and the architecture was amazing. It was built by Nomads then they got taken over by Greeks, who added more so, it was really just incredible. Like 5x bigger than a palace. the best way to describe it is Majestic.

We are allowed to go inside and it's just so cool. (We saw lots of churches) All the artwork is so intricate and really cool. I had an urge to start singing "God Help the Outcasts" from Hunchback of Notre Dame but, i refrained.

I couldn't help but walk through the cathedrals and churches and compare them to our temples. Add to that, my D&C assignment this week is on temples. The week is kind of themed temples i guess :) maybe the Lord is trying to teach me something.

Okay, I'm not studying Catholicism or anything so if anyone is, and is reading this feel free to correct my understandings. But, in the churches they have... i guess i'd call them sort of shrines to saints. Dead saints. They have their bones in a cool tomb and gold and silver and usually a picture or a statue. Then there are rows of candles. I asked about them and Piera said that you pay money and then you get to light a candle. Then you pray to the saint. To my understanding, saints are kind of go-betweens with the pray-er and God. You ask them, since they are more righteous, to take your requests to God. Maybe the thought is God likes them a lot, as they're saints, so, if they ask Him, he'll be more willing to grant your request. Kind of like asking your aunt to ask your mom to do something. I don't really know though. Maybe it's something else.

The churches are always dark. I notice this because It's always hard to take pictures. :) yeah they let me take picture of the churches. The artwork is really cool and all very similar. I mean at least of people. In all of these churches and paintings i've seen, they all portray Jesus and saints in the same way. Actually some of them kind of scare me. There was one statue of Mary with a knife. I guess it was supposed to show the pain she felt at seeing Christ on the cross but, it seemed a littled dark to me. To each his own.

And that's the biggest difference to me. In our church it's all about the happily ever after. We don't focus on the cross as much as other churches. As President Hinckley said "For us the cross is a symbol of a dying Christ, while our message is a declaration of the Living Christ"

 There was a spirit of reverence in all the churches but, it just wasn't the same as our temples. Despite all the beauty and cool architecture, i can't find a replacement for the temple. Even though I'm so far away from any temple, I think about them a lot.

For my D&C assignment i made an Italian slideshow explaining the differences between our churches and our temples. They are synominous in the catholic church and that always causes so much confusion. Then i showed the Fici family. this was actually the coolest D&C assignment i've had. It actually worked. Cosimo asked if there were any pictures inside the temple. I began to explain that we can't take pictures inside but, then i remembered that the Salt Lake Temple has a mini thing in one of the visitors centers that shows all the rooms. I found a website that has the same thing. It was so cool. They loved it. I explained how amazing it feels in the celestial room of an undedicated temple and i almost cried which is unusual for me. They really liked it.

 Written Mar 5

Another things i'm working on for the good ol' D&C class is listening and obeying the spirit better. So, this was a priceless Jana arguing with herself moment. On Tuesday, the day i flew back to Bergamo, i was sitting in the living room wondering what to do with myself. It was only a few hours before my flight and i was all packed and everyone was doing their own thing and Lucrezia my shadow was doing homework. So, I sat down and began watching TV with Piera. Kind of pointless in Italian but, as i was sitting there i kept thinking about the Italian book of mormon in my bag. I kept thinking i should pull it out and explain it. This is how the conversation went.

"You should pull it out and show her."
"No way, i'm about to leave, i cant do that now."
"You should pull it out and read it"
"It's way in my bag."

After several minutes of this i groaned outwardly.

"Oh, great, this is the spirit isn't it."
"Yep."
"And i'm supposed to listen..."
"That's the plan."

I just really didn't think that this was going to go well. However, because it was something that i agreed to focus on (obeying promptings)  I went over to my bag and took out the scriptures. I started reading and Piera actually asked me about it. I didn't have to say anything. So, i handed her the book and she looked at it. Then i pulled out my computer so that I could use google translator to explain everything. She asked me (I think, she only speaks italian remember) why i was reading it. I was kind of taken aback by the question. I explained i was learning italian with it. But, she motioned to the english one. Why was i reading it at all. Why do i read this book was her question. So, i explained that it's like the bible. i explained how it makes me feel when i read it. Then i went on to explain that the book has a promise. If you read it, pray about it, really reading to know truth, reading to learn, then you will get an answer. She told me that she has the bible by her bed. Then we had to go but, i told her that i'd leave it with her. It honestly wasn't my plan to leave it with her before that conversation. She asked me where i got it and how much i had to pay for it. I told her she could have that one, there are lots more where it comes from and they were easy for me to get. I dunno how thrilled she was about it but, i guess all these people are going to have to learn that if they let me in a little bit i'm going to try and go farther. The Ficis are like golden investigators, if they were investigating. I really liked the feeling in their home. I hope she reads it and i guess that even if she doesn't and even if they were upset that i wanted to leave that with them, nothing bad can really come from having it around.